Incorporating Play Gear into your relationship is about the eroticism of being under the control of another person or the eroticism of having full control over someone else.
Using Play Gear on any level stimulates the largest sex organ in the body – The Brain.
Before using your Play Gear products it is important to have complete trust in the person you intend to play with.
When you give yourself over to the game you are playing, due to the intensity of emotions and sensations, it can be difficult to communicate how you are feeling. Because of this difficulty, it is essential that everyone agrees on a ‘safety’ word or words before you start.
The safety word is a word that can be used by anyone to stop all activity immediately. The word could be a colour, a TV programme, or complete nonsense such as ‘tartan’.
Avoid using “stop” or “dont” as your safety word, as these words may be part of the game you are playing and can lead to confusion. Whatever your safety word, it must only be used when you want to stop all activities and return to reality. You may wish to use other safety words to indicate that you would like to:
- Stop what you are currently doing, but don’t stop the game;
- Increase what you are currently doing;
- Maintain what you are currently doing.
Also for safety, do not tie anyone too tight or place in an uncomfortable position. During sexual arousal your body slightly swells, so a tight handcuff or awkward position can soon become painful.
For the novice, bondage can be a quick and inexpensive way to spice up your sex life. Use soft items to bind your lover to avoid chafing and avoid metal cuffs as these can cause bruising very easily.
Of course there is more to using Play Gear than just tying your partner down to the bed. What are you going to do with them now that you have them there? Teasing your partner adds to the excitement. Enjoy a slow build up that leads to steamy passionate sex.
Playing is also a great excuse to dress up, if you dress sexy, you feel sexy. This could range from a naughty school girl or boy to a submissive slave or bold dominatrix.
Restraints: The feel of leather and the look and smell of it is very sexy. Just be aware that leather collars and cuffs do take some ‘wearing in’ because new leather can be firm. Fabric restraints are very comfortable to wear with padded protection. Quick and easy to use without any damage. Specialised restraints will place the body in wonderful positions, perfect for oral or penetrative pleasure.
Bondage Tape – Bondage tape is wonderful and looks hot, it sticks to itself but is not sticky, so you can wrap around the body and take it off easily.
Nipple Clamps & Clips – Producing wonderful sensations, nipple restraints are an extra dimension enjoyed by many. For beginners, only purchase clamps with adjustable tension screws. For many players, the enjoyment comes not only from the pressure exerted on the nipples but also from the flood of sensation when the clamp is released.
Feathers, Whips & Paddles – All of these products can add a fun dimension into playing. Producing great sounds and sensations. Always start softly and gently, and only increasing the intensity in agreement with your partner.
Collars & Cuff Sets – Not only do these collars make the wearer look really hot but they are also very versatile. You can cuff & clip in front or behind or to the bed. Always ensure that the wearer is not in a position that will quickly become uncomfortable.
Common Play Terms:
BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism
Bondage: The practice of restraint.
Discipline: The practice of discipline using spanking and whips.
Dominant: The person who is in control of a Submissive.
Submissive, or “sub”: Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene.
Switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.
Top: Dominant person either all the time or only during a scene.
Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control, or simply one who receives physical sensation from a Top in a scene.
Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.
Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually.
Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.
S&M: (Sadism & Masochism, or SM, S/M): Used to denote the physical activity of pain given and received.
Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.
Scene: A time period of BDSM activities.
Vanilla: Sexual behaviour which does not encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.
Communication is always the key to great playing. You may find that is only when try new experiences and begin playing that you will find out what you really like. There are no rules apart from ensuring that play is consensual for all. Enjoy the games…